You do not need to get on top of everything first

I have just started reading Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman, and I have a feeling it is going to become one of those books I keep pressing into people’s hands.

It is not a book about becoming more efficient, or finally finding the perfect system that means you will never again forget a birthday, lose an email or wonder what everyone is having for tea.

Thank goodness.

Because I think lots of us are already carrying around the quiet belief that, one day, we will get on top of things.

One day, the house will be sorted.

The inbox will be under control.

The washing basket will be empty.

We will have caught up at work, planned the meals, replied to everyone and become the person who always remembers PE kit.

And then, presumably, we will be allowed to relax.

It is a lovely idea. But it is also a bit of a trap.

Because ordinary life is not something we complete before we get to enjoy it. It keeps arriving: a new email, another meal, somebody needing a lift, the thing you forgot to order, the washing you were sure you did yesterday.

There is always another “I’ll just…”

And I think this is why Burkeman’s ideas feel so at home here. He writes from the reality of life as it actually is: limited, imperfect and slightly unruly. Not from the fantasy version where we have finally sorted ourselves out and become effortlessly serene people with colour-coded drawers.

Perhaps we do not need to wait to become that person.

Perhaps we are allowed to pop the kettle on while the kitchen is still a mess.

To read a chapter while there are emails unanswered.

To make something badly, simply because our hands fancy doing something other than scrolling or sorting.

To have a lovely thing on an ordinary Tuesday, without first building a case for why we have earned it.

That does not mean the laundry disappears or that life becomes magically easier. But it does mean we stop leaving ourselves until last.

Let this be your little reminder.

You do not have to complete every part perfectly. You do not need a free afternoon, a tidy house or the right mood. You can make the flower frog with the washing still in the basket. You can read a few pages of the book. You can put one stem in a jam jar and decide that, for twenty minutes, that is enough.

The list will still be there afterwards.

But so will you.

Book note: Burkeman’s book is built around accepting the limits of time, attention and perfection rather than trying to conquer them… which is why it feels such a natural Hummingbird recommendation.