The Five Joys: five small ways back to yourself

One of the things I’ve learned from running Teabreak is that telling somebody to “take some time for yourself” is not actually very helpful.

We know.

We have heard it before.

The difficult bit is making the leap from I really should take a break to actually sitting down while there are still things that could be done.

Because there are always things that could be done.

So instead of asking you to suddenly become very good at resting, every Teabreak gives you five little ways in.

We call them the Five Joys: Treat, Glow, Play, Make and Celebrate.

They are not a checklist. You don’t pass your Teabreak by completing all five.

They are simply different doors into the same thing: a bit of time that belongs to you.

Treat

Something lovely to eat or drink, for no more complicated reason than you like it.

This one matters more than it might seem.

We are very good at attaching lovely things to occasions. We save the fancy tea. Keep the good biscuits for visitors. Decide cake needs a birthday.

Treat is a tiny reminder that an ordinary Tuesday is an occasion too.

Make the drink. Eat the cake.

You do not need to have been particularly productive first.

Glow

Glow is the bit that changes the atmosphere.

In a Teabreak box, that is usually as simple as lighting a candle. Nothing dramatic happens. The room does not transform into a luxury spa. Your family may still be making noise somewhere nearby.

But lighting a candle says: I am doing something different now.

It creates a little boundary between whatever you were doing five minutes ago and this.

Sometimes we need a cue to change gear.

Play

This might be music, curiosity, silliness, discovering something new or simply doing something because it is fun.

Adults can become terribly sensible.

We spend a lot of time doing things with outcomes attached to them. We exercise for health. Learn for work. Cook because people require feeding. Even hobbies can start acquiring targets.

Play asks for nothing useful back.

Put the playlist on. Follow a ridiculous internet rabbit hole. Dance in the kitchen. Learn something purely because you wondered about it.

Being interested is enough.

Make

This is probably the most obvious part of Teabreak, but it is not really about producing a beautiful finished object.

It is about busy hands and a brain that gets to think about something else for a while.

You might discover you are brilliant at it.

You might make something spectacularly wonky.

Both count.

Being a beginner is allowed here. In fact, trying something you have absolutely no idea how to do is rather encouraged.

The point is not always the thing you make.

Sometimes the point is simply that, for twenty minutes, you were making it.

Celebrate

Celebrate is the small pause at the end that says: that mattered.

In the boxes, there is a monthly badge. A tiny physical marker of this particular Teabreak and this particular little bit of your life.

Not a medal for completing the craft perfectly.

Not proof of achievement.

More like evidence.

You stopped.

You tried something.

You had the cake.

You gave yourself some time.

And that is worth marking.

You might need a different Joy on a different day

Some months you may adore the Make and barely notice the playlist.

Another time, the tea and ten quiet minutes may be exactly what you needed and the craft can wait.

That is fine.

Teabreak is not another routine to perform correctly.

The Five Joys are simply five invitations.

One might be the thing that helps you put down the “I’ll just…” list and sit down anyway.

And sometimes one is all you need.